5 Things I’ve Learned Since Moving in With My Boyfriend
Moving in with my boyfriend has changed both of our lives tremendously. We bridged the hour of driving between us and now spend a lot more time together. This has brought on a lot of life lessons and taught each of us a lot more about each other.
Here are 5 pieces of advice I’m sharing with my younger sister:
- Compromising saves a lot of money–and headaches. From grocery shopping to Saturday nights out, compromises are everywhere. I grew up on 2% milk; he’s always enjoyed skim; we buy 1%. I pass out by 11pm; he would rather be nocturnal (though cannot); we watch movies together at bedtime because we love going to bed at the same time. These little things have made our lives infinitely easier.
Keep the love tip: Grocery shop with him in mind and remember his favorites. Let him pick the movie every time you know you’ll fall asleep. And be ready to find that middle ground.
Use of space is critical. Discuss use of space before moving in together. Our apartment is smaller than most and we are both self-employed. Not only does our “living room” look like serious workaholics have taken over, we have nixed the idea of a couch and–gasp–TV. He requires a lot of physical training for his career, which means we’ve also included a very snazzy workout machine in our “living room.” I love our place–but if we didn’t agree on this very non-traditional living room, I can’t imagine what would happen.
Keep the love tip: Ask which items your boyfriend likes best and work with them–even when it’s ugly. I’m sure my work desk is a monstrosity to him; just like his over-sized piece of steel bars doesn’t quite jive with the interior design advice I picked up on from Design-Sherpa.com.
- Friends & family aren’t his and hers. Neither is the dog. Of course this isn’t literal, but the reality is we end up spending a lot of time with each other’s friends and family. When you’re not a fan of a frequent guest (or a pet), it can put some strain on a relationship. Taking the time to consider each other when inviting people over (versus getting together outside of the home) will help ease a lot of tension. You don’t have to always deal with the sketchy guy your boyfriend has known since high school in your living room–but you do need to respect their friendship. Same goes for the pet: My boyfriend didn’t adopt my dog from the Humane Society and isn’t a huge pet-lover–but he takes Cooper running and feeds him as if he did.
Keep the love tip: Rotate your girls’ nights or host them on nights your boyfriend doesn’t need a full night of sleep.
- Date nights are still important. Sure, you see this person on a daily basis, but taking the time to put in extra effort will remind you why you made the move in the first place. As sexy as he is taking out the trash or stepping out of the shower, the dressy nights out are still a blast.
Keep the love tip: Surprise him with something he hasn’t seen before. A surprise outfit, new hairdo, or different make-up helps pique his interest and –most importantly– makes me feel super sexy in front of a guy whom watches toothpaste dip down my chin hours earlier.
- Knowing his schedule is a must. Because I own my own business, it’s really easy to get wrapped up in my own world. But the reality is his life and priorities are just as important regardless of my client deadlines. Knowing days he trains means I can greet him with healthy smoothies when he returns. Remembering his mom’s birthday means we show up with a gift for the woman who means so much to us both. After all, we’re living together because we want to share our lives.
Keep the love tip: Keep his schedule with yours. As a computer nerd, I schedule my life on Google Calendar. Things I need to know on my boyfriend’s schedule are on there too. This helps me stay cognizant of the important things.
What kinds of things have you learned since moving in with your significant other? Anything I’m missing?
Psst! You might also like: 3 Fears When Moving in With a Significant Other: When to NOT make the move